I need some sunshine today, and to make headway with the cleaning.
Recent news reports have sat like a lead stone on my heart, and moreso the news that never made the headlines.
I'm not depressed, nor am I hopeless. I am less naive and idealistic, but I know myself enough to realize my place in this world will be defined by trying to work to make it better.
Now and then I look into the future, and it seems like an increasingly chaotic darkness is looming. I have to resist giving in to a feeling that what I do here matters very little.
I believe it's ok to mourn the things that are injustices, and the things that tear away innocence. I am angered at the negligence and irresponsibility that's being wielded by large corporations that manipulate the public and market their products under the label of "The American Dream," yet are more dangerous to the future of our food supply, our health, our children, and our freedoms than any present-day terrorist. I see them as "the Enemy Within," and I don't see many folks even aware of what's being lost. Core fundamental freedoms that determine not only our present, but our futures, are being signed away without public awareness, public vote, and are being embraced under the blanket rationale "national security." I've never trusted politicians to be the answer to our problems, but am so disappointed at how blatantly the past few decades' leaders (and present) are selling us out in ways most people don't understand the breadth of.
I don't mean this to be a downer of a post.
I feel like crying...and crying. I think we HAVE to see what's happening to try to fix it. No matter how content we are changing things in the few square feet we inhabit in our lives and homes, we cannot be silent bystanders and watch the powerful eat their own children. WE are those children, in many cases.
I sincerely believe that to walk uprightly (which is my definition of having integrity that begins inside ourselves) is the core of where any change takes place...and so we try to do right, in our own family's life. We document the fun and the bumps of that journey, many times here on the blog. We find joy in the everyday, when we stop to SEE...
I'm not going to shrink from the ugliness while embracing the happy things...it takes backbone to look to the future without resignation or despair.
But I'm so worried.
I'm very, very worried. I'm not of a belief that we can let this world go to hell in a handbasket and then be swooped on high with a Get of Jail Free card just when it all goes bust. Nor do I believe we're our own gods, creating our own universe as we go. I do believe God knows these times, but I believe He knew who'd be suited for being born into "such a time as this." Maybe we're living now because we have the stuff it takes to not give up, not lose hope?
Shabbat will be here in a few hours. I'll rest my head...and my mind, and get some renewed verve during that time, I hope :)
I just can't be blithe about what's happening, especially with genetic tampering. Now I look at every item at the store and wonder which of it is genetically modified, yet just not labeled. I wonder what it's doing to not just my body, but my daughter's and if she'll be able to have children, and if they'll carry defects because of what we're eating, breathing, drinking...or if they'll be allowed to be born at all if they test positive to certain genetic traits.
I'm living in a science fiction world.
I need the weekend to get over some of this grief and find the courageous Robbyn again...
I'll have some much-needed time to read the scriptures and have quiet time.
I'm grateful for that time, and for my loved ones...and I know no matter what, we'll find much to smile over and laugh about. We have so much for which to be grateful.
Hug your loved ones tight! That's my plan... :)
Shabbat shalom :)