Friday, May 16, 2008

Settling in for the Weekend

I need some sunshine today, and to make headway with the cleaning.

Recent news reports have sat like a lead stone on my heart, and moreso the news that never made the headlines.

I'm not depressed, nor am I hopeless. I am less naive and idealistic, but I know myself enough to realize my place in this world will be defined by trying to work to make it better.

Now and then I look into the future, and it seems like an increasingly chaotic darkness is looming. I have to resist giving in to a feeling that what I do here matters very little.

I believe it's ok to mourn the things that are injustices, and the things that tear away innocence. I am angered at the negligence and irresponsibility that's being wielded by large corporations that manipulate the public and market their products under the label of "The American Dream," yet are more dangerous to the future of our food supply, our health, our children, and our freedoms than any present-day terrorist. I see them as "the Enemy Within," and I don't see many folks even aware of what's being lost. Core fundamental freedoms that determine not only our present, but our futures, are being signed away without public awareness, public vote, and are being embraced under the blanket rationale "national security." I've never trusted politicians to be the answer to our problems, but am so disappointed at how blatantly the past few decades' leaders (and present) are selling us out in ways most people don't understand the breadth of.

I don't mean this to be a downer of a post.

I feel like crying...and crying. I think we HAVE to see what's happening to try to fix it. No matter how content we are changing things in the few square feet we inhabit in our lives and homes, we cannot be silent bystanders and watch the powerful eat their own children. WE are those children, in many cases.

I sincerely believe that to walk uprightly (which is my definition of having integrity that begins inside ourselves) is the core of where any change takes place...and so we try to do right, in our own family's life. We document the fun and the bumps of that journey, many times here on the blog. We find joy in the everyday, when we stop to SEE...

I'm not going to shrink from the ugliness while embracing the happy things...it takes backbone to look to the future without resignation or despair.

But I'm so worried.

I'm very, very worried. I'm not of a belief that we can let this world go to hell in a handbasket and then be swooped on high with a Get of Jail Free card just when it all goes bust. Nor do I believe we're our own gods, creating our own universe as we go. I do believe God knows these times, but I believe He knew who'd be suited for being born into "such a time as this." Maybe we're living now because we have the stuff it takes to not give up, not lose hope?

Shabbat will be here in a few hours. I'll rest my head...and my mind, and get some renewed verve during that time, I hope :)

I just can't be blithe about what's happening, especially with genetic tampering. Now I look at every item at the store and wonder which of it is genetically modified, yet just not labeled. I wonder what it's doing to not just my body, but my daughter's and if she'll be able to have children, and if they'll carry defects because of what we're eating, breathing, drinking...or if they'll be allowed to be born at all if they test positive to certain genetic traits.

I'm living in a science fiction world.

I need the weekend to get over some of this grief and find the courageous Robbyn again...



I'll have some much-needed time to read the scriptures and have quiet time.
I'm grateful for that time, and for my loved ones...and I know no matter what, we'll find much to smile over and laugh about. We have so much for which to be grateful.

Hug your loved ones tight! That's my plan... :)


Shabbat shalom :)

6 comments:

Kathie said...

Oh sweetie, I know exactly how you feel. I think sometimes the best thing to do is to live by example and do the best we can. I get down sometimes but just try to carry on and hope that somehow things will get better, but no doubt they'll get worse first...

Sending hugs your way.

earth heart said...

Your thoughts echo my own so very well. I have days that I am saddened, mourning the state of affairs on planet Earth...the injustices burn within me and I cry over mans inhumanity to man. And I sometimes question if any of what I do and how I live really matters in the long run. But I find some consolation in the fact that it matters to me and how I live my life serves as an example to my children and my grandchildren. Yes, someone has to be responsible. I have to believe our efforts are worthy and matter and that we are the prayer we want answered.

Some days it's difficult to focus on the beauty in our world. But it's there and as you say, we have so very much to be grateful for.

lae21 said...

I've been feeling the exact same way. Hopeless, angry, and not knowing where or how to fight back and change what's been done. I am a biological oceanography major with an interest in genetics, so I know what's being done to our food and what can be done with a little sample of tissue and how little we know about what they effects are. It's a very scary world we live in. With this new law, I feel that when I have a child I will have to choose between its health and its freedoms. What a horrible position to be in.

We just have to keep doing what we've been doing, and keep working on improving the lives of our families and others.

TOCCO said...

Elephants can only be eaten one bite at a time. A few of see what is happining in our country. Those few of us have to diligent in continuing to work on the elephant. Our example speaks volumes. Honestly, the people I work with think that life is hopeless. I bring in my ideas and tell them what lil ole me is doing to make a difference in my world, and they see and they ask and slowly they are doing. Some people have started to just use reusable bags at the grocer. Some are searching out local food and passing the info on. I think if we do what we can and what is right, eventually THEY will hear the shouts we are sending out! Keep up the good work. Have a great weekend! Christina

Razor Family Farms said...

I hear you loud and clear. What can we do to stop this? I've signed a ton of petitions. Could we organize a march on Washington? Do those even work anymore?

We could convince one of the bloggers with a HUGE reader base (Dooce or PW)to post about things to get the word out there.

Somehow I don't think that would even work.

I agree that it is very frightening. Terrifying in fact.

I'm sending hugs and good thoughts your way, okay?

Blessings!
Lacy

Robbyn said...

Just stopping here to thank you all for your wonderful comments...I read them all, and am so thankful that Jack and I are not alone in our concerns, many of which are grave concerns we aren't sure how to address.

It's exactly right that we have to go on doing what we CAN do, and keeping a good attitude, while also taking action as necessary to make a difference, make changes, and protect our freedoms.

After resting this weekend, and after having the threat of a wildfire nearby to give perspective on just what is important in the now, I've come away valuing even more the family and friends I have, and I include you here as my friends...we're not alone in our efforts, and I'm so grateful for the connection of internet technology where we can be a community even from a distance. That distance is so much smaller now, it seems.

We have to remember the well-known quote "never give up...never give up...never give up!" :)

Thank you, friends, for being concerned, too, and for all you ARE doing. I follow your journeys, both the ups and the downs, with not just interest, but with a growing sense of being invested in your success and happiness, and am so inspired to learn from you and gain so much encouragement and momentum as you share your insights and knowledge.

Thank you :) I'm very grateful to God for you!

And despite the rottenness that can often be found in the world, and the problems that are difficult to address...the created world is so wonderful and is so worth preserving