Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Did I really say my husband had off for Thanksgiving?

The phrase that did it: "My husband has off for Thanksgiving."

NEVER say this four days before the big day. It tempts the fates. Stars re-align. Conspirators conspire. Icebergs melt, seismographs tremble, migrations are thrown into confusion, the earth wobbles on her axis. Lemmings stream over cliffs into the pounding surf below. Pigs fly. The pope is no longer catholic.

Bosses telephone.

Ring ring. Ring ring. Ringgggggggg ringgggggggg.



"Hi, J, this is _____ at ________"


"What? I can barely hear you? Is this ___________?"

"Yes!" ZZzzspssssphhhhhtttzzzz "Can you hear me better now??" ZZzzspssssphhhhhtttzzzz "I need you to work Wednesday and Thursday!" ZZzzspssssphhhhhtttzzzzzzzzzzzzssssssphttttppp

"Wednesday and Thursday?? I'm still having a hard time hearing you -- it sounds like there is static on your line"

"Yes! Nights!! OK, well we'll see you then!" ZZzzspssssphhhhhtttzzzzyttppgbzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Hello? Hello? Hello? "

(Dial tone)

*******Two Hours Later, husband to wife, upon see her awaking*********

"Hi, honey! You're awake...you must have been really tired. I didn't want to wake you up"

"Oh, thanks :) What's going on?"

"Oh, nothing much, except I got a phone call"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes, your cousin called. I told her you had to work last night and were sleeping. I told her you might call her back tonight"

"Oh, good! Haven't talked to her in a while."

"There was another call, too"


"Yes, I got a call from work. It was hard to understand...a lot of static. But they called to let me know I'm scheduled to come in on Wednesday and Thursday."


"Yeah. I tried calling back a few times but there was no answer. Anyway, I guess that's how they're leaving it. I have to work Wednesday and Thursday."

"But Thursday is Thanksgiving. The only Thanksgiving we've had together where nobody was scheduled to work!"

"I know, but what can I do? I tried calling back and nobody would answer"

"But Thursday is THANKSGIVING!! No way, you didn't really tell them you'd WORK Thanksgiving????"

"Like I said, there was a lot of static, and when I tried them back several times, there was no answers...what was I supposed to do??"


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