Dear Jason The Computer Repairman

Dear Jason, the Computer Repairman:

Thank you for rebuilding the innards of The Wreck of the Hesperus my home computer. I hope you enjoy the wealth you have amassed during the process, and I wish your children well at the private schools I must be singlehandedly funding.

I appreciate the education I received myself in the interim, what with all the fun of, shall we say, disembowelling my hard drive and all its files after searching every crevice of my domicile for the elusive Golden Fleece referred to as the Dell Recovery Disk.

I'm pretty sure I'm now qualified for an ambassadorship after the many hours of multilingual gymnastics endured at the hands of outsourced Dell customer service employees and tecchie internationals, having learned not only how to order the Dell Recovery Disk, but also other products completely unrelated to the repair of my computer. Receiving these in lieu of the correct item I ordered was such a creative way of honing my new skills of diplomacy, native dialects, interpretation, and idle threats immortalized on a recorded line patient repetition with assorted cretins unable to compose a single original thought beyond their cue cards a delightful assemblage of numerous phone line employees eager to put me on hold repeatedly.

Receiving the correct disk in the mail...finally...was welcomed with the same sort of relief and anticipation usually reserved for delivering a firstborn child, and at about the same expense and internal distress.

To be told by you, later, that you had downloaded the necessary disk content free from the internet after we had endured the above-mentioned process...well...it was just a Mastercard commercial come to life...priceless...

Yes, now we DO have the disk, as you mentioned, for any problems that may arise down the road. I'm sure it will be much easier to find next time, as I have duct-taped it permanently to my husband's forehead.

Now I can get online again to access my 3 week backlog of emails. As a gesture of my continued appreciation and generosity, I can forward you a lengthy list of Kenyan philanthropists I found in my junk email file...all of whom seem eager to share vasts sums of family wealth with you, if you're interested. (I'd hardly keep it all to myself, would I??)

Thank you for fixing my computer and giving me back this part of my life. If you don't hear from me for a while, you might want to try phoning my husband's cell phone. He'll be able to get messages to me on location either at the Plasma donation center or the organ donor office, as I'm moonlighting out all my spare parts in anticipation of future computer maintenance. Never fear... I'm doing my best to guarantee your children will all drive new cars when they turn 16, and will surely have the straightest of teeth and the best orthodontists!

Fondly Yours,

Robbyn

;-)