Saturday, January 15, 2011

So Much For Bedtime Stories

Little fact about Jack...he knows no bedtime stories.  No fairy tales, fables, myths, Winnie the Pooh or swashbuckles.  He does know OF some of the more famous ones, but don't drill him on the finer points of the story of the Little Red Hen or the Gingerbread Man.  But he does have a great imagination.
His night shift means that on his days/nights off, a lot of times he's not sleepy during normal nighttime hours...when I do sleep.  That was the case last night, so he queued up Star Wars DVDs and settled in for a mini-marathon.  I was sleepy and kind of hinted it would be nice to snuggle up for a while till I fell asleep...then he'd have all night to himself with The Force.

He came in to snuggle up, having paused one of the DVDs mid-scene.  (That meant I'd better not take too much time falling asleep? ha)   Turned the lights out and held me close.

Me, to Jack:  Hey, do you know any bedtime stories?     I remember you saying you don't remember many, but tell me a story, even if you have to make one up, k?

Jack:  Sure. 

Me:   Ok, shoot...

Jack:   (thinking)
          There was a girl who was sleepy.
          So she fell asleep. 
          THE END.

Me:    Hey, no way, that's not for real, tell me a for real bedtime story. 
          Like the kind that starts with "once upon a time."  Just make up something!

Jack:  Once upon a time there was a little girl who got sleepy and fell asleep THE END. 
          (not even a breath between words.)

Me:    JACK.  You're cheating!
         There need to be details. 
         As in details about the girl and some storyline between the Onceuponatime and the THEEND.

Jack:  (again)
         Once upon a time there was a GIRL NAMED ROBBYN who was sleepy and then she
         fell  asleep THE END.

(Now I can't stop laughing...)

Me:   NO WAY are you getting off that easy! 
        There needs to be action, use your creativity...put in some stuff about swashbuckling or overcoming  
         incredible odds or castles and moats or throw in some mythical creatures that fly or something...

Jack:  This is the last time.

          Once upon a time...

Me:   Good, it's good so far...

Jack:  ...there was...

Me:   (...don't say there was a little girl...)

Jack:  ...there was a little girl


Jack:   ...wait!  wait for it...

          there was a little girl named

          (still pausing)

          ... Little Red Robbyn Hood.  

Me:   who??

Jack:   Little Red Robbyn Hood.

Me:   Do you mean Little Red Riding Hood... or Robin Hood?

Jack:  I mean Little Red Robbyn Hood.

Me:  There IS no Little Red Robbyn Hood.

Jack:   Yes there is.  It's MY bedtime story.

Me:  Well your heroine has a split personality.  What does she do...steal from the rich to give to...Grandma?

Jack:  No.  No, you have to let me tell the story.

Me:  Ok ... so what happens next?

Jack:    (silent)



Me:   ...hello?

Jack:   So Little Red Robbyn Hood

Me:    yes?


Me:   (Silence)

Jack:    What?

Me:   I'm so grateful
        I don't know what I'd have done without that story.  

Jack:  You're welcome!

Me:  (laughing my head off...)
         Now GO...GO to her!!

Jack:  Her who?

Me:  Your dream girl

Jack:   baby you're my dream gir...

Me:  No! I'm on to you now.  GO to Princess Leia!

Jack:  Huh?  I don't even like Princess Leia

Me:  It's all about the braids. Princess Leia has mondo braids in weird intergalactic configurations all over her head.  My hair won't braid long enough to wrap all around  my head.  I know you're secretly fascinated with her weird braids and can't wait to see what side of her head they're on in the next scene.  Go!   And  may the force be with you!

And he laughed until he had a coughing fit and yes he did, he did go and finish the Star Wars marathon.

And I turned on the lamp and picked up a good spy novel to read...

Till I felt sleepy and fell asleep THE END.



Michelle said...

That was sweet AND funny!

Paulette said...

I love it!

My daughter's ex-boyfriend is from Brazil, and we laughed and laughed one day when she was trying to explain Humpty Dumpty to him :-). He was hilarious, stopping her at every word or to to ask questions.

Jack was very sweet :-)

Irma said...

I am also guilty of asking for the occasional bedtime story. My first husband used to immediately spin these ridiculous yarns that made me laugh so hard that they made me even MORE awake, so I guess it was counter productive but it sure was fun.

I have asked my current husband for stories only a few times, the looks of horror and deer-caught-in-the-headlights put that to a stop pretty quick; he is a wonderful man but his mind just doesn't work That Way.

One thing I do play with him is "Tell me THEIR story". We play this in the car when we are in the highway. A car with two middle aged women will pass us, and I will say, "Tell me their story."

"Well....they're sisters. Named Jean and Lila."

Yes, and Lila is three years older.

"Right. And they're on their way home from Boston."


"Yeah, Jean's daughter Laura is in college there, so they decided to go on a road trip to see her."

Plus, of course, take her a bunch of stuff from the house she forgot when she moved to the dorm. Jean and Lila have been talking about taking a road trip together for years--

"And they even planned one in 2005 but then Lila broke her foot..."


You see how the game works, it's an awful lot of fun and can eat up hundreds of highway miles.

Robbyn said...

Michelle, :)

Paulette, some things don't translate well, lol!

Irma, that's neat, and fun :)