Sunday, January 27, 2013

My Partner In Crime

If you've read this blog very long, you'll know that my day is not complete without thanking God every-which-way possible for the love and companionship of my husband, Jack.

I don't know what my life would be without him in it, but it would not be the life I have, nor would it have the same colors, depths, heights, and enjoyment that comes in sharing it with him each step.

Our crazy dreams have meshed into one delightful journey.  No, it has not always been full of joyful events.  We have had years that could have been categorized as personal tragedies at deep and visceral levels.  We've experienced loss and grief and disappointment and depressions.  And setbacks, and stupid decisions, and heart sucker-punches.  And misunderstanding and frustration and railing at iron ceilings and needing answers in times of silence, and needing silence in times of clamor.  And too much stress, and too little industry or too much to do.  And STRESS.  And falling down and having to get back up again and again and again.  And seeing the best and the worst and the boring and the exhilarating.

And having God together.

And counting our blessings that all those things, those felt things and remembered things and the forgotten things and the asleep things and the alive things...all were mostly TOGETHER things.

And it's been surreal and REAL and ..........ours.

When our journey together began incorporating impossible dreams into a co-conspiratorial best-friend-ness-filled patchwork of sharing and imagination...paired with practical to-the-bone changes and the comfort of nearness in all of didn't  have to make sense to anyone but us.  As long as we pray and ask for direction the whole way from our wonderful God......and follow His wisdom as we best can ascertain it as we walk these things out....

this nutty life of ours is something anyone on the outside looking in would nod heads at and declare CRAZY.

And I love that Jack is the best part of the journey and the crazy sharing even if no one else in the world understands the whys of our decisions and that black is not white and up is not down and our race for simplicity and survival OUR WAY makes some sense to us, if no one else.

I don't say these things often enough, but Jack much more than I deserve, my miracle, and the gift from God's hand to me.

That he has dreams that mesh with mine into this fine and glorious mess we adore, I marvel!

Why does our path look so crazy in this upside-down world, though?  Why are our SIMPLE ideas so against the tide?  Why is grasping at sense and simplicity so crazy to our culture today??

One of my favorite children's books is The Jumblies by Edward Lear. I highly recommend adults read the really fun and good children's books.   I think I picked this one up at a yard sale or a library book sale somewhere, and it has the original Gorey illustrations.

It's really fact, here it is if you care to take a read.....The Jumblies

Please have a read, and laugh!

And....if this is YOU......if you know the way that is right for you and if your favorite person or people are with you on the journey

even though it looks like sheer craziness to others around you (which to us sometimes indicates we're on the right track, ha!)

then maybe they'll say of you someday

"They went to sea in a Sieve, they did,
  In a Sieve they went to sea:
In spite of all their friends could say,
On a winter's morn, on a stormy day,
  In a Sieve they went to sea!"

Thank you, God, for my Jack, and all the others who dare to go "to sea in a Sieve..."

Birthin' This Baby

Peace River skies

When it came to the conception of the Grand Plan of self-sufficiency and a rough sketch of a big ol' dream towards living on an acreage wherein we are able to pull off some nutty things otherwise scorned in a more citified setting...

we thought it would take, Oh, A Year Or Two.  Maybe.

And so, of course, the winds blow this way and that, we proceed to live life and life has its little jokes and all the while we experiment Right Here Right Now and...

when the Getting Of The Land happened, oh, about six or more years had passed.

That's a LONGGGG first trimester.  Or first and second trimester.  Or somethin'.

But I'm getting all Braxton-Hicks-ish (for the women out there who've been there before) and now that we have the land, we can drive TO the land, we can see/feel/smell/hear/walk on and otherwise do everything but LIVE ON the land, I'm feeling those warmup contractions.

(If I start going on a cleaning tear, this might get ugly fast, ha!)

Anyway, next up, the survey!!!

Surveys make things official-- they make borders possible, they make building departments and other minions of the industry happy, they make boundaries for fences and No Trespassing signs and define areas that should now be off limits to wandering tractors in search of free topsoil or fill dirt.

They mean the possibility of drawing an actual MAP of the place, siting structures and trees and plants and raised beds and low areas and high areas and retainment ponds and entrances and exits and paths and wildflower patches and animal areas and food forests and...and...and...

(gonna birth this baby, gonna birth this baby...)

And well, maybe we don't know squat about "birthin' no baby" like this one when it comes right down to it, but the anticipation keeps jumping ahead of each step, adding fuel to the fire!

Survey, survey, gettin' the survey...

Another step!!!  Map my joy and measure my happiness, it's another step!!

What's taking its time being born in your neck of the woods, and what's the next step?

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Catching the Bug

The end of another week, whew!
I miss my husband terribly with this new work schedule.  When we're together, I just want to sit close to him or just steal looks at him.  I'm homesick for him.

I hope we can accomplish what we need to in order to get off this spinning wheel faster.  If it will "buy" more permanent time together faster, which is the goal and hope and possibility, I hope it's worth it.

Jack said he's caught the same bug I've gotten, and for a second I thought he meant he might have the flu...eek...but I haven't had that recently.  He was instead referring to my "I want to be on The Land tomorrow, even if it means bucket showers and shotgunning rattlesnakes" determination.  As he's gathering information and cost estimates for projects now on the nearer horizon, maybe it's becoming more real?  Hope deferred makes the heart sick, or so says the perhaps hope renewed makes the heart delightfully refreshed :-D

That's our hope for so many others as well, for you... of renewal and refreshing, and good things in God's right time.  May your rest after a hard day's work be sweet.  Tomorrow night begins Shabbat, our time of week when we get a day to rest and be together and savor the moment with gratitude.  I'm so very, very grateful for every element of these days that can be wearying.  It's not work without purpose or reward, and those both go far beyond the scope of my actual duties or employer. 
I've got "the bug" alright.  The hope bug.  And it's what helps get me through the day, sometimes even singing and with a reappearing smile!  I hope it's contagious and spreads with epidemic speed.  And is maybe incurable :-)

Shabbat shalom from our household to yours!

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

What Most of My Unwritten Posts Here Would Say

...on most days, with time at the computer snatched from the remaining hours necessary to wash clothes, eat, sleep, and repeat.

They would read "Tired."

"Tired tired tired tired tired tired tired TIRED."

And then perhaps "Thank you, God, for really hot showers, a fully-operational washer and dryer, a husband who knows how to roll with the ever-changing schedule demands (both of ours) and order-to-chaos cycle the housekeeping around here perpetually is in all the while."

And then "Whew!!!" as I slip into the bed at last, thinking "I hope I have the energy to get up and do this all again tomorrow."

And THAT is why there are  not more posts here regularly on the blog!

But it's also why we can pay our bills and hopefully keep making forward progress on our Getting ON the Land Goals...

Got a 12 shift tomorrow...just enough time here to read emails and jot these scintillating thoughts down (haha!) before, you guessed it, going off to sleep.

And to think of all the years of childhood when I loathed naps and an early bedtime.  Ah, life's little ironies ;-)

What do your unwritten posts usually boil down to (not) saying?