First I have some unburdening to do and it won't be pretty. Best to go on to a friendlier blog if you've got no time for a harangue, 'cause this one's a doozie.
I haven't been here posting much. I don't like writing when I'm riled (that's Tennessee lingo for worse words), for many reasons. However, I began this blog as a chronicle of our real lives rather than for any entertainment factors for others, despite how much I really love everyone who stops by. (Thanks!)
Because chronicling our reality, rather than a narrower topic, is the theme here, I don't have to be politically correct or necessarily write only about the garden, cooking, etc. And I have to say...I'm sitting on a quiet rage right now. In fact, there have been moments I've been about ready to air some of them in a way that would immediately lose this blog its G rating, and me my resolution to not indulge in some bad language.
I hate what is happening to this country.
I like to stay far away from subjects like our economy, civics, etc, except for some things I've posted in the past related to farming and food rights...and I posted enough of those that now I don't do so much any more...I've seen enough other blogs that are raising awareness that I've backed away here.
And I'm "going there"...I'm going to step in it now in a big way....I'm giving some thoughts on politics, maybe even religion, so if that's not what you're wanting to read here and it'll ruin your day, please X out my page...truly. Because this may make EVERYbody mad.
I didn't like President Clinton, I didn't like President Bush, and I don't like President Obama. I am an Independent and not party-loyal.
I am delighted above most average folks that our country finally FINALLY got to a point where a black man can become President, and where a woman almost did. I'm glad she didn't, though, because I don't like Hillary, either. (Yeah, I'm really making friends by the second by typing this, right?) :)
But enough about things I cannot change.
I've been sick a while, and it was strangely a welcome reprieve even from the very limited exposure I have to the news (we don't have TV service).
But here's some perspective as I am freshly regaining my mind back...I hate what I see and where we're headed. For the first time EVER, I feel like I have NO impact on the direction my government and country are headed...none. I do not feel hopeless. I am not powerless. I'm not a pessimist by nature. I'm not a political armchair quarterback.
But I'm also not a lemming, a zombie, or a moron.
I am watching ALL our freedoms being affected, and the rate they are being bandied about has increased exponentially in the name of Change and Progress and Reform.
EVERYone is playing the blame game. And I'm pissed. (That's my crude word for this post)
I'm PISSED because I've been careful MOST OF MY LIFE to pay my bills on time, NOT declare bankruptcy (yeah I know some people have to, but a lot don't), and eat tuna/beans/macaroni more years than I can count when times for us were tight DURING what others considered "boom" times economically...I had to economize to the bone BACK THEN.
Why do I need to pay everyone else's debts, too?? This Is Not a Communist State, last I heard.
The debt we are now paying off for my family is tiny compared to most folks' and that's because I did not buy the new sofa/bedroom suite/vacation/cute haircut/favorite restaurant meals/latest electronics/Kitchenaid Mixer/William Sonoma products I love/really cool clothes/gadgets for my child/private schooling for her/finishing college for myself......and so on and so on. The point is, I didn't think of myself as a martyr. I did pout for a while, but then sucked it up because THAT's LIFE and I'm beyond wanting to be up with the latest anymore...I've learned to be comfortable with a little and that that stuff's temporary anyway...blah blah blah.
I grew up with feast or famine. For anyone dependent on a family where Get Rich Quick mentalities rule, the promise that "our ship will come in someday" holds no charms. It's like a gambling addiction to some people...they have to have the Always Something Better, Just A Little Bit More mentality because they've never learned to be content. And even when the ship occasionally DOES come in, they've got to shoot for a bigger gamble the next time around. It wasn't the doing without I minded as much as the build-up...the strange light in a parent's eye when talking about a fresh "sure fire" scheme that'll be secure, all based on statistics and possibilities that are sure to be winners, but there's hardly any food in the fridge and your idea of a splurge is having milk for something besides just cereal.
The problem with the spin a salesmen use is that any data can be massaged, somebody else is the bad guy if something malfunctions, and if it can fuel Need and turn it to Greed, enough is never enough.
That's where our country is now. Enough is not going to be enough, and there is that hoo-rah hype that ANY good salesman can recognize...cook the facts to please your audience and hype people who are tired of the status quo or are in desperate need of solid answers, and GAMBLE IT QUICK before the opportunity passes...that's seriously the same weird light I recognize from childhood.
The sales pitch has that glazed-over desperate sort of false optimism, and it's been going on a LONG TIME, but is now frenetically bombarding our country when it's most vulnerable.
When people need relief (I know this from experience), they'll go to unusual lengths for it if they feel panicked and emotional. It's nearly impossible to stay focused and objective. I felt panicked years ago when I was stupid enough to CALL the IRS and ask what my penalty amount was for not having filed one year we were in hardship (dont ever call and ask them). If I hadn't called, I could have fixed it through my accountant the next spring, but since I HAD called them, they said Hey thanks...you owe this much and by the way since you alerted us to it, it's due in ten days...in its entirety. That was back in the day before there was any other option in repaying them. So we felt we had to turn to a loan shark. Oh they were so happy to "help" us. At 25% interest and a lot of other ridiculous "necessary" fees.
The same thing happened the time a vendor didn't cash a check I'd written.......for a YEAR. By then, I'd forgotten about it, and I was a single mom. And the bank put the check through and boingggg went all those bills (repeatedly because I didn't know it was happening for a few days) that I was paying so steadily monthly. So I thought my only option then was to go to one of those loan places that take what you owe out of your next paycheck...at some other ridiculous interest rate.
Etc etc.....I did crazy stuff when I panicked. That's what I feel like our government is doing right now.
Dear Government Bureaucrats........STOP SPENDING.......PLEASE. A couple billion may not seem like a lot to YOU, but I don't NEED the extra debt YOU'RE putting on me in order to help some people ditch their old cars for new ones. That's not recovery, it's throwing money away. Ultimately, it's going to be better if you STOP encouraging people to take on more debt, and I guarantee you those car buyers ARE taking out loans for the balance on those new cars.
The government is not only out of control...it's taking control. Does anyone see this??
Follow the money trail...it leads right back to Washington and the big Corps/Banks. That is, if you can even find the money trail (how about the stats on the whereabouts of the money given to those banks...huh, huh?) Does anyone realize that by handing the goverment control of ANY of these things, we are no longer a democratic republic?? Are we really willing to be THAT powerless?
Does anyone remember why we LEFT ENGLAND to begin with? Why is it ok to be idealizing nations we tried to flee in order to have freedoms in the first place??
And when did we start believing rhetoric as long as it promises change change change??
I DON'T BELIEVE the reports that we've finished hurting yet and that jobs are on the rise. They aren't around here. I heard a leading economist admit that the "recovery statistics" they're crowing over show we are not declining as fast as expected...since when is a slower decline equivalent to an upward swing??
Why do I have to be shackled to a huge national debt that I have no say in when we're doing our all to get out of our tiny tiny debt by working jobs most people would turn up their noses at...because they aren't our chosen careers (we lost those three years back.)
I don't even have a doctor, and I can count on one hand the times I've gone to a doctor/clinic in the past 5 years...where I PAID for services even though the price is high. And now I'm hearing that I won't even have THAT choice, or I may be REQUIRED to have health insurance???
HEALTH INSURANCE is not a human right. I'm speaking as an under-insured person. It is not wrong for medical care to be competitive. Boy have we lost it. And no, I'm not willing to pay for other people's. I'm sorry to be a B-word about that, but I'm diabetic, overweight, work at barely over minimum wage to help put food on the table, and am having to save for months to have a regular women's health exam I should have had 4 years ago. (I'm trying to participate in my own health recovery and better these things as I'm able) And NO, I don't want it handed to me.
Because I am as yet FREE to make my own choices. When we cease to have choices other than ones made for us, we cease to be free.
I don't want a Big Brother or a Big Daddy being more informed about or involved in my life and choices, no matter how insecure things might seem. I moved out of my parents' home when I became an adult, and that came with a new set of responsibilities. I don't need any other "parents" for the sake of some supposed security.
I want those choices as I age or become disabled. I'm not thinking like other folks that being helped by the government is a fundamental right. In fact, thinking of the government being in CHARGE of my aging and healthcare is terrifying. They will kill old people and sick people because they will no longer "have worth" when it's all about numbers and data. It's only mere steps away from Population Control, and if we don't believe that, just look what happened with Roe V Wade. It was said that it was ONLY to protect rape victims. No, it was a door that once opened allowed any number of other factors to swallow the original intent.
We are become a socialist nation, and I spent my younger schoolage years hearing about how we are a great nation because we're NOT a socialist nation....
...unless, I guess, till we're up against the wall and thinking in that Loan Shark as Savior mentality.
I'm not generally an angry person, but how much is a trillion anyway? No one is wanting us to save instead of spend.
THEY ARE TELLING US TO SPEND SPEND SPEND without END.
And oh yes, massage the data so that hey everyone, the Emperor's not REALLY naked....it's just a dirty rumor promoted by (name the partisan opposition of the day)...see? I didn't realize that Monopoly money he's holding up is considered clothing now, hmmm
I'm NOT going to spend. I'm NOT going to buy into ANY program. I'm not going to cooperate any more with "reforms." Until the SPENDING STOPS, I will break the law if I have to to NOT cooperate with the loss of our freedoms.
Nope, I'm not talking violence. I'm talking about uncooperation. This has become a moral dilemma for me.
I don't believe in usury....I'm being forced to pay for the consequences of other people's abuse of usury and our goverment's determination to perpetuate an economy that's become reliant on it.
I don't believe in handing control of my freedom to a Big Daddy goverment...and neither did our founding fathers. But it's being forced on me.
I don't believe in socialism. I'm opposed to it. But it's being forced on me.
I do believe that everyone who plants vegetables is probably at heart taking back some of that freedom, but bully on anyone who tries any more to tell me I don't have the right to have control over what food I raise...IN MY OWN BACKYARD. I'm done with it. What happens to the squeaky wheels? Grassroots organizations do produce some change...I'll be a part of that. They also get special attention from the government...it's come down to that. Attention meaning becoming potential targets. As are some farmers.
There's almost an underground language needed now...how dare someone offer pure milk to another person...it must be "pet milk" for animals only, and in some places must be dyed black...just to make sure. Because a whole generation or two can't remember milk comes from something called an udder, rather than a plastic jug in the supermarket.
And can I mention industry and manufacturing in the same sentence with Recovery? It used to be that WARS meant a boom at home...when WE made the things WE need right here. Now it's China. Freaking China. The leaders in devaluing human life, the earth, and the food stream for a buck. (Think it comes with no consequences? The Plague just popped up there, no joke) It chaps me that we even have dialogue with murderous governments at all, much less making ourselves DEPENDENT on them (thank you WalMart). Sanitize the lingo, but WalMart is a traitor to its founder and the American Public.
And along those same international weirdness lines, just when did we call people like Hugo Chavez "amigo"??? Try to negotiate ANYTHING with Iran's maniac, or Kim Jung Il? Raoul Castro is now our ol' buddy ol' pal ???(what a sellout to the dissidents IN Cuba as we speak) Since when did we bloody apologize to three other continents for being Americans?? (Clue: The U.S. just lostany remaining semblance of internation respect and is now in the same category as My Little Kitty) HOW did it become protocol to bow before Arab leaders? Why do we feel we have the RIGHT to demand that Israel NOT RETALIATE for the 10,000 plus attacks against it...and where do WE come off trying to negotiate other nations' disputes??
During the last decade or so, I've been feeling towards our bureaucrats like a woman feels when married to a husband who refuses to be financially responsible and makes really stupid decisions without including me in them. I used to think marriages like that were unfortunate but that the women were bound by promise to stay in the game no matter how ruinous, manipulative, gambling, cheating, falsely conciliatory and truly abusive the husband was. Not so any more.
The world is ready to stick it to us, and apparently we are applauding the process of sticking it to ourselves. That's a serious case of unmedicated Bipolar.
Well, now that I've probably lost ALL my friendly co-bloggers due to this rant, I'll call it a day.
I'm encouraged that we, my husband and I, will plod onward with our personal plan and the necessary changes. But as concerns paying for Big Daddy's gambling habit, empty promises, usury dependency, and spending spree, I'm going to conscientiously fail to cooperate whenever possible.
The Emperor is still Naked, he is. And he's still printing Monopoly Money and using it for spending sprees.
I opt out of participation in the National Lemming Cliff-Diving Olympics.
And the Koolaid.
No, folks, unity is not the way to go when it comes to this sort of collective national destruction.
(It's official. I'm SO seriously OVER this. OVER OVER OVER. When good is called bad and bad is called good, I'm just going to be a bad girl...and probably feel a whole lot better about life in general)
I've heard that whether you're a rebel or a patriot all depends on which side you're looking from. Now being patriotic is for rebels. Hmmm. OK, so I'll NOT CHANGE and be called a rebel. So what?
My mother predicted this would happen, but I rather suspect it began in earnest the day I switched from margarine to real butter
(deep cleansing breath.....)
Alrighty then. All better now... sorta
Shabbat shalom :)